#20. Sitting All Alone on Cloud 9

On a beautiful summer day in July, I was relaxing on the deck in my back yard with absolutely nothing to do. Peering off into the distant sky, I found myself admiring the reflection of the sun off the magnificent, luminous clouds above. I panned 360 degrees, taking in the awesome beauty that surrounded me. Just then, the thought flashed through my mind:  Wonder what it would have been like for a person living long ago ... without the benefit of our scientific knowledge of the cosmos. Imagine -- just the earth and sea and sky above. No solar systems, no galaxies, no comets, no asteroids -- just the invisible dome that covered the ground from one horizon to the other.

Though I don’t know why, my mind began traveling several thousand years into the distant past. I found myself reminiscing about a nomadic tribe bordering on the southeastern coast of the Mediterranean Sea. I fashioned myself as a shepherd boy, lying on the ground watching over my father's flock. As the sheep were content -- grazing in the field -- and I had absolutely nothing to do, I began to ponder the world around me. Who created this monstrosity -- the sky, the stars, the water, the trees, the sheep, and me? 

I thought to myself, "A Creator much smarter and more powerful then me must have made it all! But it's so huge, a monstrosity! It's humongous! There must be many Creators; one for the rain, one for the thunder, one for the sunshine, one for this and one for that. Ah! There just has to be many gods that live high above the sky-line."

Then I saw Him out of the corner of my eye. Much to my chagrin, having been caught up in my reverie, I had not even noticed the Creator Himself. There He was, sitting all alone on a nearby cloud, with absolutely nothing to do -- just quietly observing me in my imaginary world.

Then I watched the Creator as He pierced through the Milky Way galaxy into a myriad of galaxies, millions of them. The Creator reflected upon my perception of a "humongous" world, thinking within Himself, "Son, you have no idea what infinity means!"

Suddenly, the Creator reached down, tapped me on the shoulder, and offered me a ride into the future. "Come and I shall show you what is to come. I AM the Creative Spirit of All-That-Is". Immediately, I was carried on the wings of the Spirit through many time zones before we landed. "Here it is," exclaimed the Spirit, stating that we were viewing an upcoming Jewish culture that would realize there is only ONE CREATOR of all that is. "But they shall continue to refer to me as Elohim, meaning, the Gods. I suppose they must be utilizing the Royal We."

Continuing on, we came upon an era when Moses shall discover that Elohim has a name. Yahweh is His name, which means, "I AM!" The Creative Spirit was happy with this discovery. “When they say my name, they shall identify with me. I AM Love; I AM the Spirit of Life. I AM the Creative Source of all that you see and hear, my son." After pondering for a moment, He sadly stated, "Later, however, this Jewish culture shall call me The Lord out of fear that they might offend me when they say my I AM name foolishly."


Changing the subject, I asked the Spirit of Creativity if He had a home. He responded to me, saying, "I live everywhere, even in the hearts of humankind, but I was sitting on Cloud Nine with absolutely nothing to do ... when my eyes happened to land upon you ... lying there in the meadow ... daydreaming ... about Me."

Before I could respond to His blissful words, the Spirit quickly whisked me away from this place-in-time and we arrived several hundred years further into the future when the Romans were in control of this very land where I now live. As we viewed the hillside below, the Spirit said it is called Galilee and occupied by several sects of Jews.

But without any forewarning, we immediately came to a screeching halt and the wise Spirit declared that we could go no further. Though I did not understand, the Voice of the Creator spoke cautiously, and in a sullen manner, muttering something about a Trinity of gods replacing the One. At last, the Spirit explained, “An offshoot of the Jewish faith has developed here. But I shall not reveal to you what this cult shall do with my name. You don’t want to know and I shall spare you this calamity. You simply would not believe it anyway.”

Then, out of nowhere came a bolt of lightening and a thundering sound that shook the heavens and I was suddenly catapulted out of my reverie, lying all alone in the grass. I had been daydreaming for what seemed like hours. I had lost all track of time. Looking around to check out the flock, I discovered that one of my lambs was missing.  It had meandered away from its mother into the wilderness. And a storm was brewing from the west.

Without a second thought, I rose to my feet and haphazardly trotted into the desert to find my lost sheep. I had no choice in the matter. I had to leave my father’s grazing flock to search for the lamb, which would be at the mercy of the wolves. She would be scared and disoriented, unable to find her way back from the wild to her mother ewe. Frantically, I sought high and low for my lost lamb when, much to my surprise, I heard the sound of ‘baaaa’ resonating from behind the rocks.

With my beloved on my shoulder, I joyously returned to the 99 waiting for our safe return. Though soaking wet from the pouring rain, we all celebrated and thanked the one and only Creator of our heaven and earth for guiding me this way and that way in order to retrieve my lost baby. It was an experience I shall never forget! And I never ever told my father all that had happened on that spectacular summer day – so very long ago.
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#18. Evolutio0n of Religion

Zoroastrianism was quite content . . . until Judaism came along and adopted the Zoroastrian beliefs in angels, in heaven and hell, in the soul's immortality, in the resurrection, and in the last judgment. Judaism finally shifted their worship to one God, but changed his name from Ahura-Mazad to Yahweh; and Satan became a fallen angel and arch-enemy of God -- a replica of Ahriman in Zoroastrianism. Most likely, none of this bothered the Zorastrians, though the Sadducees sect of Judaism rejected these doctrines (which of course drove them bananas, for sure). However, it was the Jewish sect known as the Pharisees that accepted all of them for Judaism -- and they won out in the end.

Judaism was quite content . . . until Christianity came along and completely revamped Judaism, turning one God into three, negating the Mosaic Commandments as impossible to practice, and establishing the worship of a human being (which of course drove the Jews bananas, for sure). The Jewish Messiah, or Christ, meaning 'anointed of God', was a term held by King Saul, King David, King Solomon, etc.; the Christ was redefined by Christianity to signify deity, that is, a God-being, and the title was given to Jesus of Nazareth. His sacrificial death replaced the Temple sacrifices for sin, once and for all. Sunday replaced the Sabbath Day as a day of rest, the church replaced the synogogue, and the Jewish scriptures were highjacked to be included with their 'New Testament' writings, all of which were now divinely inspired from cover to cover.

Christianity was quite content . . . until Islam came along and completely revamped Christianity, turning three Gods back into one, giving Him an Arabic name, Allah, and declaring the Bible to be corrupted and inaccurate. The Muslims removed Jesus from his throne as the savior of the world, but honored him as a prophet of God, second only to Mohammad, who was sent by Allah to straighten out the errors of the infidels. A new set of scriptures, called the Koran, replaced the fallible 'Book' of the Christians. Allah had no humanistic attributes, developed no relationwhip with His followers, and gave no garantee of entry into heaven, unless they should become martyrs for the cause (which of course drove the Christian bananas, for sure).

Islam was quite content until . . .

#17. Christmas Christian Cuestions

The Christmas story in Matthew tells of wise men (or magi) making the long journey to find the newborn king of the Jews. I offer 10 questions about the so-called "wise men" -- not to be taken seriously, but to be explored with humor and wit and fun. Are you ready?

#1. How many wise men were there?
#2. The wise men brought gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh for Jesus. Were these Christmas gifts or presents for Jesus' birthday?
#3. What would a youngster do with such gifts -- myrrh was a dried sap from a tree used as an embalming ointment at burial?
#4. If they were so wise, why did they follow a star in the sky? Why didn't they simply ask for directions? Oh, yeah! They were men -- got it!
#5. The wise men were from the east, so the star would appear in the west. But the wise men said,
"We have seen his star in the east." -- Help!
#6. "The star went before them till it came to rest over the place where the child was". Really! Could this be a UFO rather than a star? Any thoughts on this?
#7. "(King Herod) found out from (the wise men) the exact time they first saw the star." They probaby came directily across the desert from Babylon to Jerusalem, a distance of at least 540 miles, taking 25 to 30 days by caravan. How long do you think it took them to find Jesus? Herod calculated the time travel to be as much as 2 years!
Could it be they took the scenic route! ???
#8. "And going into the house, (the wise men) saw the child with Mary, his mother." Obviously, Jesus was no longer a baby, but living in the home of Joseph and Mary, which was in a village called Nazareth, in Galilee. But the wise men were led by the star to Jerusalem, in Judea, a distance of 65 miles from the house where Jesus lived. Either the star was confused ... or the wise men weren't so wise. What say ye?
#9. The wise men "departed to their own country by another way." But how did they know the way back home -- not another star, I hope!
#10. Have a Merry Christmas! That's not a question, nor a suggestion, but a requirement. Blessings!
P.S. -- You know what would have happened if there had been
three wise WOMEN instead of three wise MEN ? Well, don’t you? The three wise WOMEN would have:
1. asked for directions,
2. arrived on time,
3. helped deliver the Baby,
4. cleaned the stable,
5. made a casserole, and
6. given practical gifts.

#16. Slice the Banana in Half

Two lesbians, Janet and Lisa, were married in Vermont in 2000 and Lisa gave birth to a child, conceived through artificial insemination. However, the couple legally ended their relationship in 2003. The birth mother moved to Virginia with the child, apparently to avoid giving Janet visitation rights. As a conse- quence of Lisa's contempt of court, the judge in the Miller-Jenkins v. Miller-Jenkins case has transferred custody rights of the now seven year old child to Janet. However, Lisa and her daughter seem to have disappeared, as no one knows of their whereab0uts.

WOW! What a sad story! The loser, of course, is the child. What are the rights of a child nowadays? Where are your thoughts on this matter and what are your feelings? You be the judge!
One day two women who were prostitutes came to Solomon. “Please, my lord,” one of them began, “this woman and I live in the same house. I gave birth to a baby while she was with me in the house. Three days later, she also had a baby. But her baby died during the night. While I was asleep, she laid her dead child in my arms and took mine to sleep beside her. And in the morning, I saw that it wasn’t my son at all.”

Then the other woman interrupted, “It certainly was your son, and the living child is mine.” “No,” the first woman said, “the dead one is yours, and the living one is mine.” And so they argued back and forth before the king.

Then the king said, “Let’s get the facts straight. Both of you claim the living child is yours. All right, bring me a sword. Cut the living child in two and give half to each of these women!”

Then the woman who really was the mother of the living child, and who loved him very much, cried out, “Oh no, my lord! Give her the child—please do not kill him!” But the other woman said, “All right, he will be neither yours nor mine; divide him between us!”
Then the king said, “Do not kill him, but give the baby to the woman who wants him to live, for she is his mother!”
-- I Kings 3:16-27

#15. Christy, the Office Receptionist


Some Christians believe that Christianity is the only true religion. As proof, they quote Jesus saying, "I am the way … no one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6 ISV). In other words, Jesus is the only way to God and therefore, the only way to get into heaven when a person dies.

So how could Jesus Christ be the only way to the Father? Maybe Jesus is his Father's body-guard. NO! NO! NO! he didn’t even carry a sword!

OK, then, maybe Jesus is the Father’s personal receptionist. Christ alone decides whether or not a person can enter his Father’s office (heaven).

Joseph prays to G*d. The phone is ringing: "Hello, this is Heaven's Prayer-line."
"Is this Yahweh's Kingdom?" Joe asks.
"Yes it is. My name is Christy. May I help you?"
"Yes, I am Joseph and I want to see Yahweh face to face."
"OK, but the only way is to go through me. Now your name is Joseph, and what is your religion?" "Jewish! I am one of His chosen people!"
"OK, you're scheduled in the calendar. See you when you die."

Mohammed prays to Allah. The phone is ringing: "Hello, this is Heaven's Prayer-line."
"Is this Allah's Kingdom?" Mohammed asks.
"Yes it is. My name is Christy. May I help you?"
"Yes, I am Mohammed and I want to meet with Allah about my virgins."
"OK, but the only way is to go through me. Now your name is Mohammed, and what is your religion?"
"Islam! You don't think I'm an infidel, do you!"
"OK, you're scheduled in the calendar. See you when you die."

Mary prays to Jesus. The phone is ringing: "Hello, this is Heaven's Prayer-line."
"Is this the Kingdom of God?" Mary asks.
"Yes it is. My name is Christy. May I help you?"
"Yes, I am Mary and I want to see my beloved Lord."
"OK, but the only way is to go through me. Now your name is Mary, and what is your religion?"
"Christian! And I'm born again!"
"OK, you're scheduled in the calendar. See you when you die."

#14. Jesus, Dalai Lama, & YOU



What do you know about the Dalai Lama? According to Tibetan Buddhist tradition, the Dalai Lama is an enlightened spiritual being who chooses to come to the earth again and again to serve humanity. So, after he dies, it is believed that he will return to the earth in a new baby's body.

If a monk has a dream or vision that he has been reborn, the senior Buddhist monks will begin searching for the youngster. The monks then present such a boy with possessions (including toys) of the previous Dalai Lama to determine whether the boy is familiar with them.

It is believed to be proof that the child is the reincarnation if he chooses the items that belonged to the previous Lama. In 1937, at the age of two, the present 14th Dalai Lama was recognized as the reincarnation of the 13th Dalai Lama.

Is Jesus also an advance spiritual being, who chose to come to the earth to serve humanity?
"(Jesus) has come from heaven” - John 3:31
“(Jesus) was taken up to heaven” - Mark 16:19
These two Bible verses point to the beginning and ending of the life of Jesus. It implies that he pre-existed before his birth and that he continued to exist after his death.

In the western world, most people do believe the soul lives on after death, but that the soul is not created until conception (or at birth). But if one person – Jesus – lived in the spirit world before birth and returned to the spirit world after death, then WHY would this not be true of us all?

OK, Jesus was called the Son of God. But is not every soul a child of God? Does not each have a spark of divinity? If we can live for eternity after death, what prevents us from pre-existing our birth? Is it possible we all have come from the spiritual realm ... and shall return ... again and again and again? Would you recognize your toys?